She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
