the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize