when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
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i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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