im drinking this country out of the recession.
i would punch a child for taco bell
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
time to smoke my breakfast
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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