I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
