The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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