Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
