i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
