I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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