She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
