You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
