why didn't you poke me back
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
