Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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