I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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