So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
