I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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