my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
