dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
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