I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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