I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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