the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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