you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
