I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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