Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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