I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
