Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
