I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
