I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
