Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
