pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
