David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
