That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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