he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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