I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
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Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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