I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
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my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
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Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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