So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
