I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
