I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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