I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize