Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize