Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
