let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize