but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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