There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
