So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Found the puke drawer
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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