you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize