I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
im holly from the hills drunk
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
