you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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