That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
