I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize