Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
