Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I need to stop coming to work sober
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
