I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
