possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
